yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
