We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
