that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
