Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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