i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
