I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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