Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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