Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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