Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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