But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
