my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
