You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize