I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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