He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
