Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
