It's Friday. Sex?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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