just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
