you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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