Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize