hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
