I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
