Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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