and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize