so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
