You work out of a Hotel?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize