Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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