Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize