My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
