I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just want nice things and good sex
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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