Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
