Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
