Its about making memories worth repressing
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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