Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize