My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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