Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
