it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize