There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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