Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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