i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
