So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
