So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
