Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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