he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I need water and some morals
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
