Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We are all done wearing pants today
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize