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Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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