i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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