I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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