Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
