Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think your dad took our porno
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
