doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We got so high we made milksteak
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
