the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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