Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
