Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up under a house in Key West
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