He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
