It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
