you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize