Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
