No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I need to calm my uterus...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
