Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
