Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
