..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
