Don't make out with my wife yet
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
