Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
