She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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