Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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