never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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