Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
