looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
