I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
