Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
