Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i out mim tonsoeep
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize