i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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