I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
